


Everyone Lieks Mudkipz

by animatedrose



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Ruby & Sapphire & Emerald | Pokemon Ruby Sapphire Emerald Versions
Genre: Gen, Insanity, Kids can be cruel, Panic, Pokemon that can speak human, Randomizer Run, Sticks, Swearing, Terror, cruel salesman, delusions of love, from my old fanfiction.net account, infectious conditions, lots of stupidity, minor abuse of Pokemon, old, this was just me making a meme into something stupid and funny, trainers trying to look and be edgy, unlikely to be continued
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:00:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25432006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animatedrose/pseuds/animatedrose
Summary: Destry is a Mudkip. Destry can speak human. If Destry touches other Pokemon, they can speak human. Destry is convinced that everyone in the world loves him. This includes Alice, his trainer who continues to deny her love of him and wants to put him in storage forever, and Maximos, a Treecko captured solely to replace Destry.Will love prevail? Or is this Mudkip destined to fail at life?
Relationships: everyone/Mudkip (delusional)





	1. Victim 1: Alice

Alice was your normal every day average 10-year-old girl striving to become a Pokemon Master. She wanted to capture every Pokemon in existence. She wanted to defeat every opponent that came her way. She wanted to be the very best Pokemon trainer ever!

Today was the day she was finally going to get her first Pokemon. She couldn't wait to see what she'd get. She had her heart set on a Torchic. She wanted a Blaziken at the head of her team.

Alice had blue eyes and long straight black hair that ended at her middle back. She was wearing a purple tank top, a faded blue jean jacket with the sleeves cut off and frayed at the edges, black pants, and black and purple tennis shoes. Two thin plastic bracelets, one black and one purple, were around her right wrist. Her lips had maroon lipstick on them and black eye shadow darkened her eyelids.

She had lived in Littleroot Town, Hoenn, for most of her life. Now she was finally leaving her boring hometown far behind. She had bigger and better places to visit now.

"Bye, sweetie! Be careful!" her cheerful mother called, waving from the door of her house.

"Bye, mom," Alice grumbled. _Why is my mom always so positive? It's freaky…_

She headed toward the Pokemon Lab, where she would finally get her starter Pokemon and leave Littleroot at long last. She smirked upon reaching the front door. Stepping inside, she felt on top of the world.

"Hey, Birch! I'm here for my starter!" she called.

The next thing she knew, a pair of hands grabbed the front of her jean jacket and yanked her into the lab. The door slammed shut behind her and the lights flickered on, revealing Prof. Birch. He looked terrified and desperate as he let go of Alice, scooping up a lone Poke Ball from the table behind him and shoving it into Alice's hands.

"Finally! I thought you'd never come! Hurry, take it and leave!" he pleaded quickly. "I can't stand being near it anymore!"

"Huh?" Alice stared down at the Poke Ball in her hands. _What's his problem? Did he miss his morning coffee or something?_ "Let's get a good look at you, little guy."

"No!" Prof. Birch cried as she clicked the button, opening the red and white sphere.

Alice stood there with a smile on her face as white light erupted from the Poke Ball. Her smile quickly faded when the light materialized into a Pokemon. It wasn't the Torchic she had been dying to have.

"Why the fuck did you give me a fucking Mudkip?!" Alice demanded, glaring at Prof. Oak.

"You don't understand! It's not normal! You _have_ to take it!" he desperately explained, looking on the verge of tears. "It's… It's… _different_! Just please, take it and leave! I can't even stand to _look_ at it, let alone _hear_ it! It _never_ shuts up!"

"I wanted my Torchic, not a fucking Mudkip! Why the hell should I keep it?" Alice shouted.

"Just please, take it! I beg of you!" Prof. Birch cried. "You're my only hope! Please!"

"Don't tell me that this is the only fucking starter left!" Alice complained, glaring down at the finned blue puppy in her arms. "Ugh… I knew I should've come earlier! Damn it!"

The Mudkip looked up at her, smiling widely. Then it opened its mouth and…

" **Hi! I'm Destry! Do you like me?"**

Alice froze, staring at the Mudkip. Then she screamed, nearly dropping it. "Oh my god! What the fuck? Why can it talk?!"

"I don't know! Just take it, I beg of you!" Prof. Birch begged. He shoved a PokeDex and five Poke Balls into her arms. "Here's all you need to start out! Now go, please!"

"Wait a sec! Why should I—"

"Thank you for helping me! Have fun on your journey! Bye!"

Prof. Birch then shoved her out the door and slammed it shut behind her. A loud click signaled the lab door was locked.

Alice stood there for a few minutes, shocked and confused by what had just happened. Then she looked down at the Mudkip.

"What the hell just happened?" she muttered.

" **He threw us out. He's weird. I asked him if he liked me and he screamed and got all twitchy. He kept screaming until you came. He liked me so much that he went insane!"** The Mudkip giggled, smiling widely.

"Why the fuck can you talk?" Alice asked.

" **I don't know. I'm Destry. Do you like me?"** the Mudkip, Destry, asked cheerfully.

"Why do I think this journey is going to royally suck?" she wondered, depositing her PokeDex and Poke Balls into her bag. "Okay, Destry, time to go into your ball." _As soon as I hit Oldale Town, I'm depositing this dude. I have to catch another Pokemon first, though._

" **You** _ **do**_ **like me! You're just in denial. That's why you're trying to get rid of me. It's okay to say you like me. I know everyone does."** Destry giggled.

"Personally, I can see why the professor was so desperate to get rid of you," Alice replied. "I can't wait to get rid of you, too. Bye-bye now!"

" **Nope!"** Destry giggled, dodging the beam of red light that shot from the Poke Ball.

"I said to get in the ball!" Alice tried again.

" **Not happening! I don't like that ball! Nobody can like me if they can't see me."** He dodged the beam again.

"I don't like you, period. Now get in the damn ball!" Alice shouted, trying again.

" **Denial~!"** Destry sang, dodging once more.

"Am not!"

" **Are too!"**

"Not!"

" **Too!"**

"Get it the bloody ball, goddamn it!" Alice nearly screamed, chucking the Poke Ball angrily at the Mudkip.

Destry dodged again, watching the ball vanish into a bush on the edge of town.

 **"Bye-bye, ball! I won't miss you!"** he cried.

"Damn it!" Alice snatched up Destry and marched into Route 101. "You're so deposited once we hit Oldale Town!"

" **Denial~!"** Destry sang.

"Am not!" Alice yelled.

Alice's dream of conquering the Elite Four and the Champion with a super powered Blaziken was shattered that day. Instead, she got a talking Mudkip that was certain everyone in the world liked him. This would be the start of a very insane journey through Hoenn and maybe even beyond that.

Would Alice and her future team survive Destry? The world may never know…


	2. Victim 2: Maximos

Alice groaned as she dug through the thick grass of Route 101.

"What the hell? Where did that damn ball go?!" she cried.

" **Hopefully far away. I didn't like it very much,"** Destry chirped happily. **"Now that it's gone, people can like me. Yay!"**

"I _really_ hate you," Alice growled, glaring at him from out of the corner of her eye.

" **Denial~!"** Destry sang, hopping around in joy.

As Alice kept searching, she was unaware that she was being watched. A pair of yellow eyes glared at her from up in a tree. The eyes soon vanished, ducking back behind the branches.

"Come on! Come out, you dumb Poke Ball!" Alice called, growing desperate. _I need that damn ball if I'm ever going to deposit him! Goddamn it!_

Meanwhile, Destry decided to see if he could find anybody else nearby to talk to. A thick patch of long grass was in front of him, stopping him from moving on through the route. Two ledges, one on either side of him, cut off his other ways of moving forward. Crossing the grass was his only option.

The Mudkip quickly found out that the grass was hard to walk through due to his short legs. He didn't give up and his big smile didn't fade. He kept moving until he was halfway through the patch. That's when he realized he was not alone.

" **Hello? Is anyone there?"** he asked, curious.

A brown and tan raccoon-like Pokemon appeared, sniffing at Destry curiously. It kept its distance, confused by the odd blue puppy in front of it.

Destry simply smiled.

" **Hi! I'm Destry! Do you like me?"** he asked, reaching out a paw to touch the strange raccoon.

With a loud cry of surprise, the raccoon fled into the grass. Destry, confused, followed after it. He came to a stop when a trio of black and gray puppies stood in front of him, teeth bared.

" **Hi! I'm Destry! Do you like me?"** Destry asked, eager to meet new faces.

The trio looked at one another, confused. Then the one in the middle lunged, sharp teeth snapping shut inches in front of the Mudkip's face. Suddenly afraid, Destry turned and ran. The trio chased him, barking and snapping their teeth at his tail. Once out of the grass, he bolted toward Alice.

" **Help! They like me but they're acting mean about it!"** he wailed.

"Destry, what are yo—AAAAH! Poochyena!" Alice quickly jumped to her feet.

Destry instantly dove behind her legs. The trio of puppies, Poochyena, skidded to a stop a few feet away. They growled and snarled at Alice. It was a clear message--they wanted Alice and Destry gone.

"Destry, use Water Gun!" Alice ordered, pointing to the Poochyena trio. "Go!"

A few seconds of silence followed. Alice looked at Destry. Destry looked at Alice.

" **What's Water Gun?"** Destry asked.

"Huh?!" Alice pulled out her PokeDex. "Then what _do_ you know?"

The PokeDex answered. **"NICKNAME: DESTRY. SPECIES: MUDKIP. GENDER: MALE. LEVEL: 5. ATTACKS: TACKLE, GROWL."**

"Tackle and Growl? That's _it_?!" Alice groaned, rubbing her forehead. "Then again, you're only Level 5. Fine, use Tackle."

" **Why?"** Destry asked.

"Because they're going to attack us if you don't. Now use Tackle!" Alice ordered.

" **But they like me,"** Destry argued. **"You don't attack people who like you."**

"Destry, just attack already!" Alice growled.

" **No! They like me!"** Destry persisted.

"They tried to _eat_ you! Is that them liking you?!" Alice demanded.

" **Not everyone shows liking someone the same way,"** Destry replied, turning away. **"They like me."**

"God, you're so hopeless! You're useless!" Alice cried, grabbing her head. "I definitely hate you!"

" **Denial~!"** Destry sang, smiling.

"That's it! I'm gonna—"

The Poochyena, apparently done watching the pair argue, chose that moment to attack. They lunged, jaws snapping. Alice screamed. Destry watched in confusion.

It all happened so fast…

Alice opened her eyes. _Why am I not feeling pain? Shouldn't I be dead or something?_

She lowered her arms from her position on the ground and looked up. Destry was in her lap, whether having crawled there himself or having been grabbed by her in a desperate attempt to save him. She was unsure which one it was. She currently didn't care. She was watching the scene before her in shock.

All three Poochyena had been beaten down by a green gecko Pokemon. Anytime the trio attempted to rise, they were beaten down again by the gecko's tail. They eventually stopped trying to rise, fainting on the spot. The gecko snorted in disgust.

 _Oh my god,_ Alice thought. _What's a Treecko doing out here?_

" **Hi! I'm Destry! Do you like me?"**

The Treecko whipped around, jumping back a step upon seeing Destry only a few inches away from it. The gecko growled, fisting its hands in preparation to attack. It tensed in preparation to lunge.

"HIYAH!"

The Treecko cried out in surprise as a tree branch collided with its head, sending it flying across the route. It instantly curled into a ball in order to save itself from an onslaught of blows from the branch, currently being wielded by Alice. She kept hitting it until it was barely twitching.

"There! Now for the capture!" Alice grabbed a Poke Ball.

" **Why'd you do that? That was mean!"** Destry whined, hopping over to check on the beaten Treecko. He reached out a paw and touched it on the shoulder. **"I don't think he'll like you for that."**

"I don't care," Alice replied. "Since you won't fight, I'll just fight with this guy instead. You're _so_ getting boxed now, Destry."

" **Denial~!"** Destry sang.

"Move it!" Alice ordered.

She pushed the Mudkip aside with her foot and pointed the Poke Ball at the Treecko, pushing the button. The gecko was engulfed in a red beam of light and sucked into the Poke Ball. The red and white sphere shook briefly before clicking, signaling a successful capture.

"Hell yeah! My first wild Pokemon!" Alice cheered. "I wonder what a Treecko was doing out here, anyway."

She clicked the button, letting the gecko out. The Treecko, struggling to stay standing, glared at her. It was covered in welts and bloody cuts from being beaten with the tree branch.

"Now then, what am I going to call you?" Alice pulled out her PokeDex.

" **SPECIES: TREECKO. GENDER: MALE. LEVEL: 5. ATTACKS: POUND, LEER."**

"So, he's practically a new starter himself. Cool." Alice smirked. "Now then, what a name yo—"

" **Maximos."**

"Huh?" Alice looked down at the Treecko. "What was that, Tree—?!"

She suddenly froze.

Treecko blinked, continuing to glare at her. Then he opened his mouth…

" **Maximos,"** he said. **"My name is Maximos, bitch."**

Alice instantly slammed her back into a tree. "Why the hell are you talking, too?! I thought it was just him!" She pointed at Destry, terrified. "What the fuck's going on?!"

" **Hold up, bitch. You can understand me?"** the Treecko, Maximos, asked.

Alice slowly nodded.

"… **Shit."** Maximos kicked the ground. **"When did that happen?"**

" **Hi! I'm Destry! Do you like me?"** Destry hopped up to him, smiling.

" **Why? Should I?"** Maximos asked, annoyed.

" **Everyone likes me!"** Destry declared.

" **Then I guess I hate you,"** Maximos replied firmly.

" **Denial~!"** the Mudkip sang. **"You like me, admit it."**

" **I'm not admitting something that isn't true,"** Maximos said, glaring at the Mudkip.

" **Denial~!"** Destry giggled.

"Forget it, Maximos. He won't quit. Just ignore him," Alice warned, slowly peeling herself off of the tree.

"… **Shit."** Maximos crossed his arms. **"I didn't appreciate being beaten by a stick, bitch. Don't do it again."**

"He won't fight, so that was my only option if I wanted to catch you," Alice replied.

Maximos looked at Destry. **"You don't fight?"**

" **Why fight people that like you? It's mean,"** Destry said.

"… **You're joking, right?"** the Treecko asked in disbelief.

" **Nope~!"** Destry sang.

"Let's just…go," Alice suggested, starting to walk away. "Before anymore Poochyena show up…"

" **Yeah."** Maximos nodded, following her. **"I guess I'm stuck with you, huh, bitch?"**

"Don't call me that," Alice growled.

" **Make me,"** Maximos dared.

" **I'm glad we all like each other!"** Destry cried, hopping alongside them both.

" **WE DON'T!"** Alice and Maximos shouted, glaring at the Mudkip.

As the trio continued on through Route 101, it never occurred to Alice that she forgot one very important thing. By the time she'd realize it, it would be long gone…


	3. Victim 3: Marvin

"Finally! We made it!" Alice exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air as she left Route 101 and entered Oldale Town. "I'm finally out of my stupid hometown! Hooray!"

" **You didn't like it? I liked it. It was nice, especially the professor. He liked me a lot!"** Destry smiled.

" **Then why'd he give you to this bitch?"** Maximos asked.

" **To see how everyone in the world liked me,"** Destry replied. **"I like me and you like me and she likes me."**

" **And…the Poochyena?"** the Treecko reminded.

" **They liked me,"** Destry said firmly. **"They just overdid it. It's okay. I forgive them. I like them, too!"**

" **You're hopeless,"** Maximos declared.

" **Denial~!"** Destry sang.

Maximos just stared at him for a long while. **"…Freak."**

"Cut it out, guys. Try to act civil, okay?" Alice ordered.

" **Whatever, bitch."** Maximos shrugged.

" **Okay!"** Destry cried, smiling.

One trip to the Pokemon Center later and Alice was off to the PokeMart to stock up on supplies, mainly Potions. Maximos and Destry hung around outside, waiting for her. The Mudkip hopped around, singing some nonsense song. Maximos watched him, scrutinizing and studying.

" **Hey, freak! Did** _ **you**_ **do this?"** he finally asked.

" **Huh?"** Destry stopped his singing. **"Do what? Do you mean you liking me?"**

" **No, I mean the fact that I can apparently talk to the bitch now,"** Maximos corrected. **"Did you do it?"**

" **Uh…"** Destry looked at the ground. **"…Maybe?"**

" **Maybe? What does** _ **that**_ **fucking mean?!"** Maximos demanded, jumping down from the bench he had been reclining on. **"You either did or you didn't! Which is it?!"**

" **I don't know. Maybe I did, but I don't know."** Destry shrugged.

" **You really** _ **are**_ **hopeless,"** Maximos grumbled, hopping back up on his bench.

Alice then exited the PokeMart with a bag full of Potions, Poke Balls, Antidotes, Awakenings, and Paralyze Heals. She quickly approached her two Pokemon. She noticed the look on Maximos' face and frowned, happy mood instantly gone.

"Okay, _what_ happened?" she asked, annoyed.

" **It's** _ **his**_ **fault!"** the Treecko declared, pointing at Destry. **"The fact that I can fucking talk is** _ **his**_ **fault! I don't know how or why, but** _ **he**_ **fucking did something to fucking** _ **cause**_ **this! This isn't** _ **normal**_ **, bitch!"**

"Uh… Duh! _He_ isn't normal either, _remember_?" Alice commented, unaffected by Maximos' rant. "Look, I think we should head up Route 103 since Route 102's blocked off for the moment. The clerk in the PokeMart said Marvin was up there, doing research for the professor. I think we should visit him."

" **Whatever."** Maximos hopped off the bench. **"Come on, freak. Let's get going."**

" **Yay! I like adventure!"** Destry hopped over them, smiling.

"And we hate you," Alice replied.

" **Agreed."** Maximos nodded.

" **Denial~!"** the Mudkip sang.

" **SHUT UP!"** Alice and Maximos shouted angrily.

Leaving Oldale Town behind them, the trio stepped out onto Route 103. As they traveled along the route, Maximos defeated any wild Pokemon that got in his path. Destry hung back, asking the fainted Pokemon if they liked him. He never got a response, though.

Finally, they reached the top of Route 103. Standing there in the grass in front of them was a boy around Alice's age with spiky green hair and pierced ears. He wore a black T-shirt with a white skull on the front, black cargo pants with chains and straps attached to it in varying places, and black shoes with white soles. A bunch of different colored rubber bands were around his right wrist. A black wristband with spikes on it was around his left wrist. When he finally turned around, it revealed that his eyes were green and he had a lip and left eyebrow piercing.

"Hey, Marvin! It's me, Alice!" Alice cried, approaching him.

"Hey, Alice babe! Nice seein' ya again." Marvin hugged her. "You goin' on a Pokemon journey, too? Sweet!"

"Yeah! You won't _believe_ what the professor gave me," Alice grumbled. "What did you get?"

"This!" Marvin pulled out a Poke Ball and clicked the button, unleashing his starter. "You like 'er?"

It was a Torchic.

Alice instantly fell to her knees and hugged it, squealing in joy. Marvin laughed.

"She's beautiful? Will you trade it to me, please?" Alice begged. "The professor gave me a stupid Mudkip and threw me out of the lab before I could exchange it!"

"Well, that sure doesn't sound like the Prof," Marvin muttered.

Destry hopped up to Marvin. **"Hi! I'm Destry! Do you like me?"** he asked cheerfully.

"See?" Alice groaned. "That's why I don't wan—Marvin? Are you okay?"

The green-haired 10-year-old had frozen after the Mudkip spoke, left eye twitching madly. Then he suddenly sprang away, screaming, to the other side of the patch of grass. Alice quickly ran after Marvin, hugging him once he fell to his knees in the grass.

"Marvin, what's wrong?" Alice asked, confused and afraid.

"Oh god, not _that_ one! _Anything_ but that one! _Why_?!" he wailed. "That thing is _cursed_ , Alice babe! It follows you around, asking if you like it, and it won't shut up, even if you answer it! I was stuck in a closet for three hours, Alice babe! THREE HOURS! That's not cool, dude! NOT COOL!"

"Marvin, calm down! Destry won't hurt you! He won't even hurt another Pokemon!" Alice reassured, rubbing his back.

"Fuck the trade, Alice babe!" Marvin cried. "I'm sorry, but I can't take that one. It drove the Prof _nuts_ , dude! I can't keep it! Good luck with your sanity, babe! I'm _gone_!"

Marvin tore away from Alice, snatched up his Torchic, and jumped down the ledge. Then he ran back to Oldale Town, screaming like a girl. He was gone in seconds.

" **Well, there goes your shot at getting rid of the freak,"** Maximos muttered.

"…Fuck!" Alice punched the ground. Then she stood up, brushing herself off. "Let's head back to town, guys. We're heading for Route 102 now."

" **Okay!"** Destry cried. **"I think he liked me!"**

" **He hated you,"** Maximos corrected.

" **Denial~!"** the Mudkip sang.

" **Freak,"** the Treecko grunted, following after the quickly-departing Alice. **"So, any other ideas of how to ditch him?"**

"I've got one that'll definitely work," Alice replied, smirking.

" **Hey! Wait for me!"** Destry cried, hopping after them.

And so, Alice's journey continues. She lost her chance to get rid of Destry and gain the beloved Torchic of her dreams. Will Alice finally rid herself of Destry? Or will he continue to be a burden and ruin her dreams of success?

Or will he become something more than that…? The world may never know…


	4. Victim 4: Luann

Alice, Maximos, and Destry were standing by the PC in Oldale Town's Pokemon Center. Alice frantically dug through her bag, quickly falling into a panic. Maximos just stood there, arms crossed over his chest and foot tapping on the linoleum floor. Destry sang a nonsense song to himself, attracting quite a few stares from nearby people.

"Where is it? Where is it?" Alice muttered. "Where the hell is it?!"

" **Where's** _ **what**_ **, bitch?"** Maximos finally asked, annoyed.

"Destry's Poke Ball, that's what!" Alice cried. "I know I had it in here somewhe…re…"

Alice suddenly punched the wall next to the PC, biting back a scream of frustration. Once the pain hit, she quickly clutched her throbbing fist to her chest. She suddenly glared at Destry.

"It's still on Route 101, _isn't it_?" she growled.

" **Huh?"** Destry looked up at her. **"Yep! The ball's gone forever! Hooray!"**

"No, _not_ hooray!" Alice growled hatefully. "How the hell _else_ am I supposed to get rid of you?!"

" **You don't want to get rid of me. You like me,"** Destry reminded cheerfully.

" _Correction_ , Mr. Happy Pants! I _hate_ you!" Alice snapped.

" **Denial~!"** Destry sang.

"Ugh! Why do I even bother with you?!" Alice shouted, gaining quite a few looks. She ignored them, stomping out the door. "Let's go, you two! We've got a Poke Ball to find!"

" **Awww!"** Destry whined. **"I don't like that ball…"**

"Well, I _love_ it! Get used to it because once I find it, you're boxed _for good_!" Alice promised.

For once Destry gave no reply. The Mudkip hung his head sadly…only to bump into Maximos' back. He looked up at the Treecko curiously.

" **Why'd you stop?"** he asked.

Maximos frowned. **"What's with humans and** _ **sticks**_ **?!"** he hissed angrily.

"Hey, what's _with_ you guys? Come _on_! We don't have all day, you know!" Alice called.

Maximos ignored her, lunging toward a group of kids near Route 103. They were huddled in a group, poking something on the ground with sticks. Some of the kids were complaining while others laughed.

" **Hey, wait for me!"** Destry cried, running after him.

"Hey! Are you _listening_ to me?!" Alice yelled, stomping her foot. "Get _back_ here!"

The children instantly scattered when Maximos jumped at them, smacking at their arms and legs with his tail. Destry yelped, barely avoiding being stepped on by a few of the fleeing kids. Alice, giving up on yelling, stomped over to them with two of the kids that she managed to catch.

"Why don't you two _listen_?!" Alice demanded, glaring at her Pokemon.

" **Is she okay?"** Destry asked.

Alice then noticed the creature flopping weakly on the grass was. It was an ugly-looking brown fish with tattered blue fins, large gloomy-looking eyes, and a frowning mouth. She recognized it easily as a Feebas.

"What the hell are you guys doing with a Feebas on _land_? _Torturing_ it?!" Alice demanded, glaring at the kids that she had by the arms. "You sick _freaks_!"

"We weren't torturing it! Honest!" the boy cried. "We got it from a salesman that just came into town!"

"He said it was a 'mysterious yet super-powerful creature of the ocean' and that it was only ugly-looking because it had no attention!" the girl wailed.

"So you're giving it attention by poking it with sticks and suffocating it?!" Alice barked. "It's a _fish_ , goddamn it! It can't _breathe_ on land!"

"We're sorry! We'll give it back!" the boy cried, terrified.

"Fuck that! I'm setting it loose!" Alice let the two kids go. "Where was this salesman?"

"In the PokeMart!" the girl replied.

"Good. Now _scram_!" Alice growled.

Both kids ran away, terrified.

Alice sighed before picking up the suffocating Feebas, giving out loud cry of disgust at how slimy it felt. Running back up Route 103, she flew to a stop by the water's edge and dumped it in.

"Ew! It was _slimy_! Gross!" she whined, washing her hands in the water.

" **Thank you for saving me, miss."**

"No proble—" Alice froze. "Destry, did you touch the Feebas?"

" **Yep! Why?"** Destry asked.

Alice would've strangled him if Maximos hadn't hit him first.

 **"Idiot,"** the Treecko said coldly. **"You did it** _ **again**_ **! Learn some self-control, freak! Stop** _ **touching**_ **everything!"**

"Yeah! What he said!" Alice instantly agreed.

" **But I—"** Destry squeaked, backing up.

" **Hello?"**

Alice froze again before reluctantly looking back at the water. The Feebas was peering up at them from just below the surface. It spoke again, its voice feminine.

" **Thank you for rescuing me. Could you please help my school?"** she asked. **"That man in the big hat has them. He sells us to people who only throw us away or laugh at us. Please, could you rescue them for me?"**

" **Why should we, ugly? They're** _ **your**_ **school,"** Maximos asked, crossing his arms over his chest. **"We've got better things to do."**

"Like dump him in the PC!" Alice added.

" **Please! You must!"** the Feebas begged. **"You're the only ones that bothered to save me. You** _ **must**_ **save my school! Please!"**

" **I just did it because I know what it's like to get hit with sticks,"** Maximos grumbled, glaring at Alice.

"Blame him, not me!" Alice pointed to Destry. "He wouldn't fight. I had no alternative."

" **How about not catching me at all?"** the Treecko argued. **"How's** _ **that**_ **for an alternative, bitch?"**

"I would've been stuck by myself with him," Alice countered. "That's _hardly_ a Pokemon journey."

" **You're a Pokemon trainer?"** the Feebas suddenly asked.

"Um… Yeah…? Why?" Alice nodded, suddenly nervous.

" **If you save my school, I will come with you. I may not be much now, but once I evolve…"** she offered.

" **Which will take forever, right?"** Maximos cut in. **"Why would we need you, ugly?"**

"Max, that's kind of harsh," Alice commented.

" **Harsh, my ass! It's the truth, bitch,"** Maximos replied.

"Well, maybe we ca—"

" **Hi! I'm Destry! Do you like me?"**

Alice and Maximos both glared at Destry, who was leaning over the water to look at the Feebas. The Feebas seemed surprised. Then her frown suddenly lightened into a barely noticeable smile.

" **Why, yes,"** she said. **"Yes, I do think I like you."**

" **Want to be friends?"** Destry asked.

" **I think I'd like that. You seem like you've be a good friend to have."** The Feebas nodded.

"… **You're joking me, right?"** Maximos asked, stunned.

"I hope so," Alice said, just as shocked.

" **Hey, guys!"** Destry cried, looking at them both with a big smile. **"See? She likes me! I told you! Everyone likes me!"**

"She just added fuel to the fire, didn't she?" Alice asked.

" **Yep."** Maximos nodded.

Destry looked back at the Feebas. **"Don't worry! We'll help your school… Um…"**

" **Luann,"** the Feebas said. **"My name is Luann."**

" **Okay! We'll save your school, Luann!"** Destry declared.

"I guess we don't have a choice," Alice muttered. "Fine. Once we rescue them, you're _ours_ , Luann. Got it?"

" **Got it."** Luann nodded. **"I'll be waiting right here for you to return."**

And so, Alice has been roped into the first of many insane quests that Destry has agreed to do. Now with the loss of Destry's Poke Ball, ditching him may no longer be an option.

Will they be able to free Luann's school from the salesman? Will Alice somehow find Destry's Poke Ball? The world may never know…


End file.
